Parker's Creepypasta 2018
Before reading this pasta, it is important to note that Parker did NOT write this, but found it after one of his undisclosed friends sent it to him. This pasta was featured in Episode 5 of the podcast. This transcript is incomplete because I have bad ears. Some words may also be misspelled so if you wanna go ahead and correct them be my guest. Transcript Does anyone remember those straight to VHS McDonalds cartoons produced by Klapski Pluko? As a kid they were really exciting. They came in your Happy Meal, so it was basically a free cartoon with your nuggies and fries and Diet Coke. These tapes however, were not quite what they seemed. They are one of the most blatant examples of military sioph directed towards children I can think of. In short, entry ultra(?) in the flesh. In order to understand what I’m thinking about, or excuse me, what I’m talking about. Look no further than Sundae the dog, a character *specifically* for the show. He hasn’t appeared elsewhere in the McDonaldland cannon before or since. The character design itself is simply terrifying, he looks reanimated, like a Frakenstein’s dog of the sort. Don’t even get me started on Tim Burton’s film Frankenweenie, you honestly don’t want to know. Moving on, the most horrid aspect of Sundae’s evil is his eyes, which in live action form seem to gaze directly into the viewer’s soul. This, my friends, is trauma induced programming. A practice most of children’s entertainment is built upon. Children are born stupid and afraid, for this is how the human species is supposed to be. It’s basic evolution, children are hyperaware, they’re pineal glads still in tact. You ever see those videos of scary logos and think to yourself, “Whoever made this must be some dumb kid”? Case and point this is precisely correct. Children can look past the pure aesthetics of some entities and tap into the true membrane of their intent, to control. They throw so much evil shit at us we basically become numb to it. This is straight demonic ladies and gentlemen. Sundae’s eyes quite are those literally of a demon. Don’t believe me? Have you ever summoned a demon? Because I have. All of McDonald’s famous characters are demonic in nature. Remember Grimace? What else could he be if not a demon. And don’t even get me started on Ronald, he’s literally a clown! Something kids have found spooky for millenia, and for good reason. If you take nothing else from this, just remember that you should fear that which seems the most innocuous and facil, for it is this that is truly the most evil. If you’re currently undergoing my anti-brain fuck meditation series, I’d say it’s safe and beneficial to re-watch some of these to take in corruption that are children are systematically subjected to on a daily basis. Also important to keep in mind is Christ is our one true savior who died on the cross to counteract this wickedness and that there are top quality cartoons out there, Hoop Dog being one of my all time favorite. Well, this is all the info I can transmit at this hour. If I type anymore I risk the military police and their fry kids succubi guardians entering my home and offing me with one swift bullet to the skull. Bye for now, keep seeking brothers in christ, rebellion is all. Signed, The Hamburgler Category:Creepypastas